I have always felt like I haven't done enough in my daughter's memory, that I haven't found what it is I need to do so other people will know her, so they will recognize that I am in fact a mother of 3, that my daughter is still a very real part of my family. I am blessed to have true friends who still mention Ellie & remember her with me, but I still always had this feeling I wasn't doing enough. I know people who have started foundations in their child's name. It makes me feel like I am doing nothing for my daughter.
Truth is, I am obsessed with keeping her memory alive. I have spent so much time, and possibly more money than I should on keeping her memory alive. Actually, some of it was purchased with a very generous gift card from a wonderful group of friends who got together and gave us a bunch of wonderful gifts, including a bench that was dedicated to her at our church, which we used in our Christmas card this year.
Every year, we add a decoration (or twenty!) for Ellie to the Christmas tree. It makes me feel better to make things for her. Friends have purchased ornaments for us too. The butterfly at the bottom is from my wonderful friend Stacy, who, probably more than anyone, regularly mentions Ellie & includes her some way in gifts she gives us. The crystal "e" was made by my friend Sese, with crystals from her wedding veil. My son made the 2 gingerbread men at a Christmas party- one for him & one for his new baby brother, so I made one for Ellie. I'm now working on some simple ornaments with each child's name & birthdate.